Bridesmaid season is upon us — which suggests friendship breakup season is, too.
As weddings have turn into larger, pricier and extra elaborate than ever, so has the function of the bridesmaid. As soon as largely ceremonial, immediately it’s a part-time job that stretches throughout months of planning, logistics and labor. Right this moment’s bridesmaids are anticipated to prepare bachelorette journeys, chase lodging funds, keep color-coded spreadsheets and, on the marriage day itself, generally even mediate household drama.
Throughout this fraught time, a number of the most sturdy, decades-long friendships might be put to the take a look at: in iMessage group chats, countless electronic mail chains and on the marriage day itself.
The toll is just not solely emotional, however usually monetary, too. The typical price of a hometown wedding ceremony in 2026 is $34,200, in line with The Knot’s newest analysis. In the meantime, a home vacation spot wedding ceremony prices a median of $41,700 and a world vacation spot is nearer to $44,000. Bridesmaids are more and more left to soak up these exorbitant prices, from journey and bachelorette events to clothes, hair and make-up.
The evolution of the fashionable wedding ceremony has led to some actually horrific horror tales — listed below are a number of the most stunning we heard…
‘It’s like I obtained nuked from orbit and I am imagined to emerge from the crater with flowers and an apology’
My shut buddy of 10 years is getting married subsequent yr. For her bridal bathe, she discovered an Airbnb in Michigan for round $700 per individual. I assumed it was steep, so one other buddy and I made a decision to speak to her about discovering a less expensive place.
Then I obtained put into a bunch chat considering we had been brainstorming, however she despatched a hyperlink to the booked Airbnb. Once I requested for the whole price, the bride mentioned round $1,100 per individual for lodging alone.
I used to be shocked – I instantly texted her privately saying I wasn’t anticipating it to be that a lot, however that I like her and would make it work at a decrease price. I work in native authorities; I don’t make the form of cash to spend on a weekend away, and I don’t get a lot P.T.O.
A day later, the bride texted me telling me, “It would not sit proper in my coronary heart you could’t prioritize to have a good time me, so I will be shifting ahead with my bridal social gathering with these three different associates.”
I didn’t even know the friendship was on the road. I used to be deeply apologetic. I put a lot emotional vitality into it, crying and speaking to my household.
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She mentioned she simply wanted house, however we have not spoken since. It seems like a breakup. She looks like a stranger. It’s like I obtained nuked from orbit and I am imagined to emerge from the crater with flowers and an apology.
My associates advised me I put all people in a troublesome place by bowing out, however I had by no means truly agreed to forfeit that cash, nor would I plan a visit the place one individual pulling out throws all the pieces into chaos. I perceive being in a marriage prices cash, nevertheless it would not should be fully onerous.
Standing up there with somebody on their huge day is a favor, so we must be appreciative and never deal with our associates like workhorses. I nonetheless wish to have a good time my associates, however the expectation that we’re all imagined to cease life and bend over backwards for a bachelorette is form of ridiculous.
– Lex, 29, native authorities employee from Cincinnati, Ohio
‘It’s an unreasonable method to deal with your pals’
I used to be shocked when my former faculty roommate requested me to be her co-maid of honor in the summertime of 2024. I assumed I’d simply be a bridesmaid — she’s obtained different childhood associates who she’s manner nearer with.
However it seems the function was most likely picked for me for my organizational expertise. I ended up being the unofficial wedding ceremony planner. All the pieces about this wedding ceremony consumed my life — I spent three to 5 hours per week within the build-up engaged on the planning, and doubtless 10 hours per week because it obtained nearer.
All the pieces I did was nitpicked at. I made invites for the bridal bathe on Canva, and the bride questioned each tiny element. I used to be like, ‘I am not truly your graphic designer… I am not being paid to do that.’ I even hosted six women in my condo for her bachelorette, costing me about $1,200 in decor, meals and internet hosting necessities.
After which there was the precise wedding ceremony. Earlier this yr, all of us flew from the U.S. to the marriage venue in rural France, which the bride referred to as “The chateau.”
There was no coordinator, cleanup crew, or employees — I used to be in control of numerous duties and did dishes every evening. I needed to liaise through Google Translate with the non-English-speaking violist and florist whereas the bride freaked out and yelled at bridesmaids over the timing of their entrance down the aisle.
We had been initially requested to take 5 days off work, however in complete, I took eight days of P.T.O. and simply spent between $3,000 and $4,000, together with paying for the opposite co-maid of honor’s gown with out reimbursement.
From my expertise, it’s an unreasonable method to deal with your pals. I’m nonetheless shut with the bride, however I started to resent her all through the method. I didn’t even communicate to her on her precise wedding ceremony day. If I may advise somebody about to turn into a maid of honor, I like to recommend getting clear on expectations first.
– Iris*, 29, communications skilled
‘The sort A bridezilla cancelled the bachelorette as a result of we couldn’t afford it. It made me reevaluate our friendship’
When my ‘little sister’ from my faculty sorority obtained engaged to her college sweetheart, we had been all in our early twenties and freshly postgrad children and barely had any cash. But she determined to have a vacation spot wedding ceremony in Florida, when most of us had been from Texas.
I used to be unemployed on the time when she requested me to be a bridesmaid. She knew what a tough time I used to be going by means of financially and mentally – I cried to her about how laborious job looking had been. I used to be apprehensive about how I might afford the price of being a bridesmaid, as we had been required to pay for our flights, clothes, make-up and hair ourselves.
She additionally needed to do her bachelorette in Florida on a separate weekend, which might have required us paying for extra flights and lodging. So many people bridesmaids mentioned we’re already doing a vacation spot wedding ceremony and saving cash for that – it will have been one other $1,000 or extra.
She canceled your complete bachelorette as a result of we couldn’t afford it and guilt-tripped us for not eager to have a good time her. She simply did not have sympathy for anybody’s monetary state of affairs. It simply made me lose general respect for her as a buddy.
When it got here to the marriage, she had so many non-negotiables for us to pay for. All 4 of us wore the identical crappy, $300, 100% polyester bridesmaid gown…and it seemed horrible. Our nails, hair and sneakers needed to be the identical. She insisted we needed to pay $300 for the hair and make-up ourselves, till she agreed to cowl the prices of the make-up after some pushback.
I scraped collectively round $3,000 in complete for the marriage. I wasn’t capable of benefit from the day as a lot as I needed to as a result of I used to be so upset about all the pieces that occurred.
I’ve solely seen her twice since her wedding ceremony final yr and we aren’t practically as shut anymore. It’s the identical state of affairs for the opposite bridesmaids. It simply made me actually re-evaluate who she is as an individual and ask myself, ‘Do I actually wish to be associates with someone who values financial worth over simply pure friendship?’
– Hannah*, 25, occasions planner
* Names have been modified
